SCRIPT FOR ANON SALON EVENT: SPOKESDROID PROMOTING “CORPORATE PRODUCT DEMONSTRATION” @ THEATER CONCRETE
by Michael Woody ©19961206eyecono’clast
PART 1
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
Attention! Investors? Attention.You’re Welcome to sunz.com [gesture towards the website], the latest iteration of the SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY line of EDUTISING ADFOTAINMENT. That’s right, EDU-TISING-AD-FO-TAINMENT. It’s the (SUNZ) unique blending of education, advertising, hip sarcasm and entertainment. We call it QUADSPEAK but its’ so much more.
Because of the high concept product expandability of the self-iterating SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY paradigm, we can offer you PRESENTAINMENT personally prepared to accommodate your specific tastes. Why, It’s nothing short of an opportunity to enjoy only what you want to enjoy only when you want to enjoy it. And it’s available in any medium you want it in.
You know, long ago, first there was the age of exchange. Then there was the age of demand. Well, now we’re on the brink of the fully functional automated PSYCHOGRAPHIC PROFILE. You may never have to ask for anything ever again once your tastes are automatically calculated and your gratification is conveniently presented.
You talk about fertile ground for business, there literally is no limit to what you might see and hear with the SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY opportunity. Except for you. You see, you set the limits with your own opinions and choices. You restrict what you’re exposed to with your own bias and convictions and once you accept this opportunity, you won’t even have to be aware of it happening. You won’t want to be.
Even if you’re just curious about what is possible all you have to do is come to the live corporate product demo next Friday or Saturday, Dec. 13 &14, at the Theater Concrete space at 550 Natoma, parking is available across the street, and visit sunz.com.
That’s “S” “U” “N” “Z” dot com. And you know what else is great about this opportunity, you’re in control of yourself, you keep your own hours, you listen as hard or as little as you want to and you’re free to come and go as you please. Now isn’t that the kind of entertainment we all want? You know the SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY can be your ticket to the American dream providing you with a step by step program that puts you on the hi-fi of success.
(shill audience member at the computer)
This is a great opportunity!
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
Boy that’s for sure and you know, something you may be wondering about , how do these people learn so much about computers and technology and me?. I mean it seems so complicated, RIGHT? Well, that’s the magic behind the power of the PSYCHOGRAPHIC PROFILE. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist. you don’t need to know anything about music, in fact, you don’t have to own an instrument. The SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY takes care of all that TECHNICAL stuff and that’s a big reason why their experiencing such tremendous growth. They really do CARE about your success.
(shill audience member at the computer)
It sure seems like the SUNZ have prepared us for everything.
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
You know, that says it all. With SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY, you’re enjoying yourself but not by yourself. And that combined by the explosive growth of the internet makes the PSYCHOGRAPHIC PROFILE opportunity the ultimate vehicle for achieving…. the American dream . Think of the possibilities.
So if you are at all curious abut what this all means to you and where you fit in, get the facts. Come to the live corporate product demo next Friday or Saturday, Dec. 13 &14, at the Theater Concrete space at 550 Natoma, for a nominal registration fee, or feel free to visit sunz.com. ITS FREE! You have absolutely nothing to lose and for all you know, this just could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Why don’t you give it a spin and I’ll be right back.
PART 2
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
Welcome Back. Perhaps one of the most intriguing factors regarding the FLOOD of new satire being created everyday by the SUNZ is THIS… The SUNZ opportunity absolutely levels the playing field. It doesn’t matter how big or how small a company is. In fact, you could be one person working out of your home competing with some of the biggest corporations in the world and winning. We’ll still laugh at you.
(audience member at computer)
It’s what I’ve been looking for. It’s easy, it’s minimal investment and I can help me.
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
You see, that’s the key. With the SUNZ opportunity you are in control of your destiny. And think about what’s been said in this program so far. …. The sky’s the limit. The SUNZ opportunity represents one of the most exciting breakthroughs ever. It allows you to take charge of your life. and with SUNZ brand help, to become the architect of your own success. The SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY opportunity. The time is NOW
(audience member at computer)
I can’t wait to see where I’m going to be in a year from now.
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
You know, that kind of positive expectation seems to go hand in hand with an opportunity that comes along just once in a while. And one of the reasons people are responding to it in droves is that you can take advantage of the SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY at your own pace. You can dive right in or ease into it. You don’t have to stop what your doing. You don’t jump ship. You don’t have to give up you current source of entertainment. You can keep your job while getting you feet wet by doing it part time. This just could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. You know, there are people right now, today, at sunz.com entertained just one or two hours a week having a ball and making money.
You know what’s great about the internet and something SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY takes advantage of…the internet is a marketing frontier…There, anything goes, I mean, you can sell anything on the internet. Your limited really only by your imagination.
(audience member at computer)
I’m a teacher and house wife and I’m excited about doing this. This is a great opportunity.
(entrepreneurial spokesperson)
What a champ. Like I said, anything goes on the internet. The future is now and you can take control of it like WE did. You know, SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY represents a golden ground floor opportunity for you. It’s like being there when Alexander Graham Bell first talked on the telephone or it’s like sitting in the passenger seat next to Henry Ford when he drove his very first automobile. It’s like being on hand when the first personal computer was introduced or when the Curies discovered lethal radiation. You know SONS OF ALIEN TECHNOLOGY is a once in a lifetime opportunity, your chance to capture the American Dream. You know, people that use the SUNZ opportunity now can take advantage of the Internets’ explosive growth…. be the ones who reap the greatest benefit. Start the rest of your life on the right foot. Right Now. Come to the show and explore the endless opportunities that await you. Get a piece of the action. You deserve it.
Excerpts from Part 1 can be seen in the video Abductee Outreach Program @ Anon Salon
Theater Punk 